Thank you. It is a good suggestion. However, those pro- and cons-matrices are very rationally/cognitively grounded. I've made lists like that, and lists of upsides to certain behaviors, for ED, self harm etc. in the past and it never works on me because those words on a paper mean nothing to me when I'm emotional or overwhelmed. I'm truly glad the whole cognitive wave that has been going through psychology is benefiting many people but I am not one of them. It's all nice and good until something actually hits me, and I want out.
I mad it to/through the seventh day of sobriety though It's a week...in some ways it was the longest week of the year, in other ways it flew by. I can't say I have truly been struggling, neither physically nor mentally.
NYE is tomorrow night and I really don't know what I want to do with it. Coincidentally my father became sick yesterday and he's far from getting better. Which means: I might not be home alone after all, in which case there is no point in even thinking about boozing up.
Wishing you all a lot of strength on New Year's Eve and the first day of the new year, especially when others around you are drinking