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How do you talk about weight with your partner/spouse?

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#1 MiaMajorette


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Posted 21 March 2017 - 10:02 PM

I love my husband. I love him regardless of his weight- although I do need him to be healthy for many years to come! He is overweight. He's 5'10 & says he weighs 250, but I'm pretty sure with his strength & size, it's more than that. I'm 5'4 and just under 150 lbs, with an eating disordered background, so I'm the last to judge ANYONE on their weight. I am a nurse & I just care about him a lot, but when I ask him his weight he refuses to tell me and he refuses to diet with me ever. I feel like he has an eating disorder too...he even had gastric sleeve surgery 5 years ago and has gained some of the weight back. I know he doesn't like the way he looks, and I'm worried for his health. He is ten years older than me. Any advice on how to gently approach the subject without hurting any feelings?? Or should I just not, and let him do him and not worry about it?

Edited by MiaMajorette, 21 March 2017 - 10:06 PM.

#2 *mirror*image*


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Posted 22 March 2017 - 02:36 AM

I try to go with the health angle rather than say anything about their physical size and shape (honestly I 100% try not to go there of course something may slip out but considering the concern is health/well being I don't think mentioning anything negative about their body is a good thing). Like I try to tell them that what they're eating is not good for their health and that they should try something else and mention the other option. Sometimes it's met with contempt but other times it's l like they'll be honestly surprised because they didn't realize there was a healthier option or that what they were doing to themselves was that bad.

Cook together. Make something healthy. Buy more fruits and vegetables. Buy organic alternatives (chips/cookies). Keep the healthy options in the house. If they're there they'll be more likely to use them.

Somehow get him excited about health. Try to take something up with him like riding a bike or hiking. Make it casual/fun/something to do together.

Maybe he does need to hear it bothers you/scares you. You have a right to talk to him about your fears. I really think it's the lifestyle that needs to change but if he seems like he doesn't want to budge maybe a deep talk where you tell him you care about him is what needs to take place.

Personally I still think buying fresh foods and making healthier meals is the way to go (fuck calorie counting just eat healthy lol) but if he won't do it idk? Like how does he refuse?

Edited by *mirror*image*, 22 March 2017 - 02:45 AM.

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#3 *mirror*image*


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Posted 22 March 2017 - 02:55 AM

Also, to elaborate, my boyfriend's got a serious addiction to cheese and milk. I also think he's lactose intolerant so he makes himself sick eating it and then goes back to eat more to soothe him after he's feeling better. He's got digestion issues daily and it's just f***** up. He refuses to believe it's the dairy. Plus the cholesterol and fat. Omg he eats so much..

Anyways we fought over it and he says I'm hypocritical cause I do things that compromise my health too (like drive on the freeway wo buckling up lol). So we promised each other he'd cut back on the dairy and I'd buckle up on the freeway. We'll see how that goes..

Idk how it'll work but you could try something like that too ..

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Edited by *mirror*image*, 22 March 2017 - 03:00 AM.

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