Jump to content


Photo

Is moderation possible after dependence?


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Achromatic

Achromatic

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • 250 posts

Posted 25 April 2016 - 06:54 PM

I decided to refer myself back to the alcohol service because I can feel my drinking getting out of control again. Although I don't drink often, I drink heavily when I do and the consequences of my drinking are fairly dire (stupid and dangerous situations, getting thrown out of places, arguments etc).

I had my second assessment today and the person I saw is recommending abstinence because I've never drunk moderately and have a history of alcohol dependence. I'm hesitant to believe moderation isn't an option just because I was alcohol dependent a few years ago. I don't have a clue how I would go about moderating my drinking but, in and ideal world, moderation would be my goal.

Has anyone managed moderation after being alcohol dependent? Is it stupid to even think I might be able to?

#2 Lottie

Lottie

    PhD in Forumology

  • Members
  • 4,180 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 26 April 2016 - 06:41 AM

I don't think it's stupid to think about but it think at least for now if you can't imagine drinking in moderation then maybe it's not the time to try it?

I wish I could drink in moderation now but after 8 years of using alcohol to cope and still dealing with severe anxiety, I know that moderation (after 4 months without a drink) wouldn't work in practice for me :(





Persistence, practice, patience...

Practice, Patience, Persistence

 

imagejpg3_zps0b013c84.jpg     imagejpg4_zps71f54240.jpg

 


#3 Achromatic

Achromatic

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • 250 posts

Posted 26 April 2016 - 02:04 PM

Thanks for replying. I think moderation is the compromise all problem drinkers try to hold on to. Sometimes I think it is just bargaining with alcoholism though...

I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been drinking since I was ten and I didn't even drink moderately then (great parenting there, Dad!) I don't even know what moderation would look like. My idea of moderation is actually above the UK definition of binge drinking (8 units) so maybe I don't really want moderation at all? I guess I'd like to be able to get shit-faced with none of the consequences. Wouldn't we all? :P I'd take drinking two pints over nothing if I could though. The question is, can I?

#4 somethingvague

somethingvague

    PhD in Forumology

  • Members
  • 1,424 posts
  • Locationuk

Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:35 PM

I haven't ever been able to drink in moderation...I was a binge drinker as a teenager. Alcoholism is definitely something that runs on both sides of my family (father, both grandfather's, grandmother, aunt on mum's side died from cirrhosis of the liver at 39.) Luckily or maybe unluckily for me, alcohol was never my favourite drug of choice. I managed to stop drinking completely when I passed my driving test. I don't know that I was an alcoholic, sometimes I slip up and will drink for a few months. I think I have a very addictive personality/it is part of my bpd.

If I'm being honest, I think abstinence is the best way to stop a relapse. Based on what you say, it doesn't sound like you have ever used alcohol in a healthy, moderate way. That has been ingrained in you from an incredibly early age too (I thought I was young at 12/13!). I'm not saying that moderation isn't possible. I know, personally I would not have the willpower for it. I could be being unfairly cynical of alcoholics in recovery after watching my father, since as young as I can remember. He's always been honest about his alcoholism, gone to AA and NA on and off. He'll be sober for a period of time, sometimes years, then I notice he's drinking again. And he's always told me 'I promise it's OK now S, I'm only drinking 2 glasses of wine, MODERATION!" The following week he is back to drinking heavily and trying to hide it.

I think you should be proud of yourself for realising things were starting to get out of hand and refer yourself back to services about the drinking. Maybe you could have a chat with one of the key workers/counsellors about your reasons for wanting to drink (in moderation). Are your reasons healthy, like just having a drink or two at the pub with friends? Or do you want to use alcohol as a coping mechanism/escape?

X

I'm medicated, how are you?


#5 Starlight

Starlight

    PhD in Forumology

  • Members
  • 2,341 posts

Posted 28 April 2016 - 04:51 PM

I've never been dependent on alcohol at all so I don't really know what I'm talking about but I think it depends on the person. Like how some people who are recovered from an ED can eat intuitively while others always need to keep an eye on things and somewhat stick to a plan.

 

I do think abstinence is a good place to start.



#6 Achromatic

Achromatic

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • 250 posts

Posted 05 May 2016 - 10:37 PM

Insanely heavy drinking this week. I often wonder how I don't get alcohol poisoning. I think I've proved moderation isn't really going to work.
I did go out and just have 2.5 pints on one day but that was because I came down with a horrible throat infection that made me feel sick for five days. If I could take something that made me feel sick when I drink, I'd be laughing!

I haven't ever been able to drink in moderation...I was a binge drinker as a teenager. Alcoholism is definitely something that runs on both sides of my family (father, both grandfather's, grandmother, aunt on mum's side died from cirrhosis of the liver at 39.) Luckily or maybe unluckily for me, alcohol was never my favourite drug of choice. I managed to stop drinking completely when I passed my driving test. I don't know that I was an alcoholic, sometimes I slip up and will drink for a few months. I think I have a very addictive personality/it is part of my bpd.
If I'm being honest, I think abstinence is the best way to stop a relapse. Based on what you say, it doesn't sound like you have ever used alcohol in a healthy, moderate way. That has been ingrained in you from an incredibly early age too (I thought I was young at 12/13!). I'm not saying that moderation isn't possible. I know, personally I would not have the willpower for it. I could be being unfairly cynical of alcoholics in recovery after watching my father, since as young as I can remember. He's always been honest about his alcoholism, gone to AA and NA on and off. He'll be sober for a period of time, sometimes years, then I notice he's drinking again. And he's always told me 'I promise it's OK now S, I'm only drinking 2 glasses of wine, MODERATION!" The following week he is back to drinking heavily and trying to hide it.
I think you should be proud of yourself for realising things were starting to get out of hand and refer yourself back to services about the drinking. Maybe you could have a chat with one of the key workers/counsellors about your reasons for wanting to drink (in moderation). Are your reasons healthy, like just having a drink or two at the pub with friends? Or do you want to use alcohol as a coping mechanism/escape?
X

Thanks for replying. You are always so insightful :)
I think there are two reasons I want to drink. Firstly, a couple of drinks down the pub is nice. I like the little buzz of a couple of drinks but I don't really think that's any different than anyone else. Secondly, it's the best anti-anxiety medication I know. When I drink to get rid of anxiety things tend to get way out of hand.
If I didn't drink when anxious (which is what I did when I first started drinking again) I might be ok (maybe?) but it's hard when you have an anxiety cure right in front of you.

The alcohol worker mentioned nalmefene, but then said he wouldn't suggest it because he thinks I just want to get wasted. I don't really want to get drunk because of all the damage it causes. If I could take the edge off the anxiety with one or two drinks and then not want or enjoy more, that would be ideal. I'm considering trialling a private prescription of nalmefene or naltrexone. The amount I spend on a bender makes it seem like a reasonable financial outlay!

  

I've never been dependent on alcohol at all so I don't really know what I'm talking about but I think it depends on the person. Like how some people who are recovered from an ED can eat intuitively while others always need to keep an eye on things and somewhat stick to a plan.
 
I do think abstinence is a good place to start.

That's a really interesting comparison. My eating disorder started when I was 14 so I had years of experience of normal eating. I've never drunk normally so I guess when it comes to drinking, there is no "intuitive" for me.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

IPB Skin By Virteq