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#25882 Missing members

Posted by Mikki on 14 August 2014 - 02:42 AM

I'm here, but I can't find the emoticons!
I don't know if I took a break or if I'm back or anything, but I am here right now. I'm alive and same but different too, I'm ok. I am sorry if I worried anyone. I have indeed been doing a lot of traveling and I'm currently living out of a suitcase but it's temporary.
Best wishes <3
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#126621 From someone who is "recovered"...

Posted by lushelocution on 12 September 2016 - 03:16 AM

Hey guys and gals.

I'll try to keep this as brief as I can.

I joined this community when I was in high school when the site was rgp. I was constantly oscillating between anorexia and bulimia, and while I spent much of my time lurking on the site, I made many friends. I cannot thank you all enough for the support that I was given through my hardest times.

Even though I rarely posted, especially in the following years, my eating disordered behavior never ceased. I would go months with serious bulimic tendencies and then months of anorexia. My weight was always pretty low, but as of the end of 2014 I had reached my lowest and my health was in serious danger. At some point I knew I had reached a point of potential no return ; and I was strangely ok with the possibility of death.

I can't tell you it was a precise moment that I decided to seriously consider recovery. I don't think it was. It took a year of gradually learning to retrust my own body to normalise.

I'm writing this post to let you know that it wasn't easy. It was painful. Mentally painful, physically painful. The bloating felt like it would never go away. There were days where I felt like I was the hugest person on the planet. Water retention, constant nausea and heartburn, the endless fighting of anxieties... but for every pain and failure I tried to hold onto the good goals I reached. Like, a finished meal with no guilt. A holiday evening with family filled with happy banter instead of harassment about my weird eating habits. A successful date night where I enjoyed the entire time we spent together, instead of focusing on calories and numbers.

I tried to keep myself motivated by reminding myself that this is the only life I have, and if I wanted to do any good for myself and others, I would have to keep on trying.

I feel like now, even though I'm not entirely 100% recovered, my mindset is completely different. I feel comfortable with my heathy weight. I feel comfortable eating a normal amount and putting the rest away for later if I need to. I don't have the overwhelming urges to binge and purge.

I don't know what advice, if any, I have for anyone considering recovery, but I'll just say this -- your life is worth living well and happy. It's perfectly ok to love yourself for the beautiful person you are.

It's a difficult road, and it's long and arduous, but it's worth it. I swear.

Love to you all. <3
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#103240 Halloween Muahahahah*cough*ha. 2015 Costumes

Posted by april_rain on 29 October 2015 - 04:02 AM

Here are some pictures!

 

Bee:
DSC03556_zpslokpt37b.jpg
 
Angel:
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Pink Fluffy Unicorn:
10749929_10154770661075158_4514194102502
 
Butterfly:
DSC04667_zpsw5yxmfgh.jpg
 
Nyan Cat:
DSC04673_zpsruempans.jpgDSC04625_zpsetbrsrbf.jpg

Fairy Princess:
DSC06294_zps67on3lwa.jpg
 
 
Taco:
DSC06306_zps2beh9shw.jpg DSC06309_zpspcqhbksr.jpg DSC06310_zpsv122prft.jpg


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#126863 Missing members

Posted by Mikki on 19 September 2016 - 09:15 PM

I'm ok! Thanks <3
I've been in hospital all summer, but today I was discharged! It was unhelpful.. The situation was not good, until just recently when I was allowed back at uni and given more freedom.. and then they lifted the section finally! So I'm free (ish), and I have moved to a new place (finally). I'm really tired now.. 3 months summer is over I am not much better, but I learned some things and met lots of good and weird people.. And now I'm alone and Life goes on .. Hey.
  • miri, Nook, someone_somewhere and 5 others like this


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